Come to Think of it, Maybe We Actually Can

By Drew

It was a dark and stormy night at the Meadowlands for the first and only home playoff game of the year for the Metrostars. Expectations were low, as the Super Club sneaked into the playoffs with a last game victory against Chivas USA and had to face the Eastern Conference leading New England Revolution in the first round. However, despite the rumors that Metros Playoff Fever was dead, the Idiots believed that, on any given consecutive Saturdays, the Metros were capable of not being embarrassed by most teams in the league.

The weather forecast called for showers throughout the game, and, as typically happens when the conditions aren't ideal, the ranks of the Idiots quickly thinned. Joey had a manicure that he couldn't reschedule, Greg had "plumbing problems" which may or may not be related to Mo Johnston's "burning desire to win" and Paul was continuing his season long protest against the release of Gilberto. Most disappointingly, Jason went from promising to bring four guests to shockingly missing yet another game. And Ofer wasn't there.

Once again, the tailgate was moved indoors to the bar at the driving range/mini golf/marina minutes away from Giants Stadium. An eclectic crowd was present at the bar, and topics of discussion included global warming, modern art and the best way to shank your cellmate. I arrived with Brian, John and Keith already present, and we were eventually joined by Ronen, who wins Idiot of the game for showing up so close to the birth of his daughter and for staying through the whole game despite the pain of an imaginary bird bite. Brian was obviously very focused on the game and his yet to be revealed trivia question about Dan Marino, as he began repeating the ideas of his fellow Idiots. After chowing down on surprisingly tasty burgers, washed down with some moderately priced beer, we decided to head off for the Stadium.

The rain was falling as our convoy made the brief trip to parking lot. We put on our rain gear and had a quick beer to toast the Metros success (or expected failure). The crowd was, in a word, paltry, as the elements, the lack of publicity and presumably the first game of the World Series all took their toll on potential attendance. The Metros came out in their 3-5-2 formation and really dominated the run of play. The Metros went close with a header from the King which skimmed the top of the crossbar before Amado Guevara scored a stunning goal in the 34th minute. Taking a pass from Youri Djorkaeff, Guevara hit a great shot past Matt Reis's near post. As the rain began to come down with increasing strength, the Metros took a 1-0 lead to halftime.

At the intermission, Brian tried to rally the Idiots to abandon their great seats for the drier area underneath the overhang, but he was quickly shamed to withdraw his resolution. I went on a mission for a hot chocolate, but Mrs. Fields had apparently taken the night off. As the halftime clock wound down, we gathered for a group photo, tightened our rain gear, Ronen adjusted his Hefty bag skirt and we headed in for the second half. The rain was hitting Noah's Ark-like levels as the whistle for the second half was blown.

The Revolution came out stagnant in the second half. While the mainstream media attributed the result to the superior tactics and effort of the Metros, it is clear that the taunts of Metronation were taking their toll on the visiting team. With each cry of "Revo-losers," this observer could see the collective will of the New England team withering away. Lucky it was raining, or we would have seen the tears of Pat Noonan as the taunt of "Noonan, no way" sang down from Section 115.

The Metros defense was fantastic, as Seth Stammler, Jeff Agoos and Lil' Bradley all did their job particularly well, and Tony Meola was barely tested. It would have been nice to see the Metros get another goal, as excellent chances from Djorkaeff and Guevara were wasted. Regardless, the 1-0 victory left the Metros in great shape for the second leg next Saturday. The five attending Idiots were soaked, but thrilled with the victory. When told about the result, Joey was heard to comment, "there was a game tonight?"

Although there will be other Idiot activities prior to next season, it will be another six months before Jason misses his next home game, in what hopefully will be the last season in Giants Stadium.