Tough defense and goalkeeping. A midfield which controlled the center of the pitch. Clinical and predatory strikers.

But enough about our match in the parking lot against a bunch of pretenders. We're here to discuss the debacle that was the Metros home playoff game against hated DC United.

As you will recall by clicking on the recap, the Metros season began with great promise. A gorgeous spring afternoon. Nearly 100% attendance by the Idiots. Over 30,000 fans at a Giants Stadium field unmarked by either football lines or bottles of Miller Lite. A bottle of arguardiente. The debut of Freddy Adu. And a 2-0 victory over DC.

Unfortunately, the Spring of great promise has turned into the Autumn of our discontent, as the Metros limped into the MLS quarterfinals on a cold streak. With the Eastern Conference regular season crown having been conceded to the Columbus Crew, the Metros managed to lose home field advantage to DC. As a result, Giants Stadium was the scene for the first game of the home-and-home series. In their never ending mission to reduce attendance as much as possible, MLS eschewed a more temperate afternoon start, preferring a chilly 7:30 p.m. kickoff.

This was my first Metros playoff game and I was prepared with a multiple clothing layers and a Unity bracelet. I even took a couple of Advil before the game, just in case my case of Metros Playoff Fever got out of hand. Although the crowd at the game was disappointingly small, the tailgate was lively. Only three Idiots failed to attend, as Joey (overseas scouting mission), Greg (MIA) and Brian (Crew-Revolution viewing party with the Szetela family) were absent. Jason and Ronen proved how close the Idiots have bonded by sharing a pair of effeminate gloves as the night turned colder. While Keith was busy scalping, giving away, our extra tickets, the six remaining Idiots played a spirited game of three-on-three. We were then challenged by the next tailgate over to a game of (approximately) six-on-six, which we fully dominated. Ofer, Paul, John and Ronen led us to a clear victory, while Jason wants everyone to know that he scored a goal. I drank a lot and missed a number of open chances. After we escaped victorious with only a couple of scrapes and bruises, the Idiots wolfed down some undercooked burgers and headed into the game.

I can't stress how disappointing the crowd size was, as it looked like far fewer than the stated attendance of 11,161 were present. Not even the pre-game presence of Gio Saverese moved the crowd, and Gio was forced to rush back to his job at the movie theater on Route 3. The Metros looked decent early on and DC had very few early chances. We chose Earnie (U.S. has-been) Stewart as the source of our collective ire. Earnie was obviously unnerved, and he had two clear offsides infractions in the first half. Jeff Parke nearly scored on a first half header, while Amado Guevara sent in a good corner which John Wolyniec almost converted. The first half ended 0-0.

The normal halftime of youth soccer teams battling to scoreless draws was interrupted by two out of the ordinary events. First, buoyed by the cheers of the Idiots, Montclair's Drums of Thunder added some percussion to the intermission. Second, Jason and I were attacked by an ten year old who stepped on a mustard packet aimed for us. While the youth fled after I yelled at him, he failed to bring us the napkins he promised. Rest assured that the Idiots have not heard the last of this situation.

The Metros came out flat for the second half and the defense began to show some cracks. After a Dema Kovalenko missed a great chance, Jonny Walker had a fantastic save on a Ryan Nelsen header. Karma reared its ugly head, as a clearly offside Stewart scored in the 67th minute. After a couple good deadball attempts by Guevara and a few nice dives by Cornell Glen, DC put the game, and likely the series and season, away with an Alecko Eskandarian goal in the 89th minute. Not even a late appearance by the King of Goals could rescue the Metros. Although we're hoping for a miracle on DC, the result on Saturday was not a shock.