The King and I -- Conspiracy?

We're not very big on conspiracy theories at firstrowidiots.com. Well, other than the fixed Danny Szetela draft and the Meadowlands security plan to divide the group with their restrictive policy on hurling bottles on the field. However, we're starting to get a little suspicious. Three weeks of "The King and I". Three weeks of decreasing minutes for the King. Three weeks of shorter hair. Have Bob Bradley and Sergio Galvan Rey's barber conspired to ruin this site? You be the judge. Rest assured, we will not be intimidated and will keep doing this report and judging the King on the headband rating scale.

King Report: With the exception of a John Wolyniec tap in after a gorgeous free kick by Amado Guevara, the Metros striker duo of Wolyniec and Cornell Glen were pretty anemic. Although the Metros peppered Columbus Crew keeper Jon Busch with a dozen shots, few really challenged the undersized net minder. Clearly the situation called for the King. Once again, Bob Bradley chose Fabian Taylor as the first choice substitute striker, coming in for the slightly less ineffective Glen in the 64th minute. Finally, Bob came to his senses in the 80th minute, having failed to see the empty gas tank light on Wolyniec's oversized forehead for most of the second half. With only 10 minutes to weave his golden touch, the King was pretty much invisible. Coming onto the pitch with a haircut which recalled Dorothy Hamill at the 1976 Innsbruck Olympics, the King had only one moment of semi-promise. Taking the ball on the left side of the box, he slid a nice pass over to Eddie Gaven, whose shot attempt was blocked. The King had very few touches in his limited time on the field, and the Metros were lucky to escape with a 1-1 draw. With numerous players out due to national team duty, injuries and suspension, the King should get plenty of minutes this Saturday against the Wizards.

King Stats: 10 minutes, zero shots, zero headbands.

King Rating (out of four):

King Fact: The King shares a birthday (June 9th) with Jackie Mason. Mason is known for his one-liners, while the King is known for his one goal.

Previous Columns:
8/16/04: The King and I
8/25/04: The King and I -- Week 2