The King and I -- Service

On this holiday Monday, Mr. and Mrs. Idiot Drew walked around Soho and enjoyed the day. Hungry, we decided to stop at an outdoor café for lunch. Soon after ordering, our waiter brought our meal (tuna Nicoise for her, chicken wings for me), and we had a pleasant time. You may ask how does this rambling story relate to the King of Goals? One word -- service. Whether you are a hungry diner or a goal starved striker, service is vital. The King can only take his rightful place on his throne with the help of his more common teammates. The Wizards game this past Saturday looked to present a mixed opportunity for the King. Numerous absences for national team duty made it likely that the King would start, yet the depleted Metros would be without their best passer, Amado Guevara.

King Report: Bob Bradley did the right thing and started the King up front with John Wolyniec. In addition to this positive news, there were two immediate good signs. First, Eddie (Demented Shaggy) Gaven was released by the Nats to play in the game, hopefully increasing the fortunes of the King and the Metros. Second, although his hair was still short, the King broke out the black headband for the game. Sadly, there would be little else to cheer about. Gaven was very tentative and clearly missed his security blanket Guevara. Despite his sub-par performance, Gaven was the best of a thin crop of midfielders. I ran out of fingers (and toes) counting the poor passes by Tim Regan and Ricardo Clark, while Woly's complete lack of touch doomed any good chance for the King to be set up for a score. Despite the lack of service, the FSNY cameras loved the King, with no fewer than 11 close-ups in the first half alone. The King was very active on defense and forced the Wizards into a couple of poor clearances. The King had the Metros' only first half shot on target in the 31st minute. Taking matters into his own hands, he unleashed a powerful shot from about 25 yards out, which was well parried by Bo Oshoniyi. In the second half, the King had a shot that was well high. Perhaps sensing our collective frustration, waiving the white flag of surrender, Bradley replaced the King with Fabian Taylor in the 56th minute. The King-less final 34 minutes were an afterthought and the Metros fell 1-0.

King Stats: 56 minutes, two shots, one headband.

King Rating (out of four):

King Fact: The King has committed the fewest fouls per minutes played of any Metro field player (4 fouls in 707 minutes), proving that not only do nice guys finish last, but they can't score.

Previous Columns:
8/16/04: The King and I
8/25/04: The King and I -- Week 2